urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r Just Smile and Nod.... d34th_w4lk3r 2006-07-17T11:57:32Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:4524 2006-07-17T11:57:32Z 2006-07-17T11:57:32Z There is not much to really do here in Iraq on a day off. Today is a day that I can sleep late in the morning and went to lunch in one of the nicer d-facs here on the base. I got referred to as "MOM" today by a couple of the other airmen here in our unit because I kept telling them to stop hitting each other in the van. Other than that, not much and very little. Just waiting on food. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:4045 2006-06-26T18:56:55Z 2006-06-26T18:56:55Z "In This River" by Black Label Society It has been a little bit since I have put anything on here.<br /><br />Baghdad is boring as heck. Escort duty is boring, but it is definately a nice change of pace from the hospital. I have only been home sick once where I broke down and cried. I miss my husband terribly, but who knows. Hopefully we will get stuck in Germany for a while on the way back.<br /><br />I am in the process of preping for a 10K run this Sunday, so tomorrow I will be waking up at the ass crack of dawn to get up and run approx. 6 miles. Yea, what fun...<br /><br />Other than that, not much is going on... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:3781 2006-05-14T05:38:13Z 2006-05-14T05:38:13Z None So far my day has been Shitty... literally. I ride around with the septic guys. Right now, I am waiting for them to get back. Other than that not much is going on. Work and sleep... More later- B urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:3569 2006-05-12T12:38:37Z 2006-05-12T12:38:37Z Just letting people know that I am alive and kicking... love peace and chicken grease urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:3107 2006-04-21T19:30:14Z 2006-04-21T19:30:14Z [1] I have read a lot of books.<br />[] I have been on some sort of varsity team.<br />[2] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.<br />[] I have been to Canada.<br />[3] I have been to Europe.<br />[4] I have watched cartoons for hours.<br />[5] I have tripped UP the stairs.<br />[6] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.<br />[7] I have been snowboarding/skiing.<br />[] I have played ping-pong.<br />[8] I swam in the ocean.<br />[] I have been on a whale watch.<br />[9] I have seen fireworks.<br />[] I have seen a shooting star.<br />[] I have seen a meteor shower.<br />[10]I have almost drowned.<br />[11] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to disappear.<br />[12] I have listened to one CD over & over & over again.<br />[13] I have had stitches.<br />[] I have had frostbite.<br />[] I have licked a frozen pole<br />[14] I have stayed up til 2 doing homework/projects.<br />[15] I currently have a job. <br />[16] I have been ice-skating.<br />[17] I have been rollerblading.<br />[18]I have fallen flat on my face.<br />[19] I have tripped over my own two feet.<br />[] I have been in a fistfight.<br />[20] I have played videogames for more than 3 hours straight.<br />[21] I have watched the power rangers. <br />[22] I have attend(ed) Church regularly.<br />[23] I have played truth or dare.<br />[24] I have already had my 16th birthday.<br />[25] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.<br />[26] I've been in a verbal argument.<br />[27] I've cried in school.<br />[] I've played basketball on a team.<br />[] I've played baseball on a team.<br />[] I've played football on a team.<br />[] I've played soccer on a team.<br />[28] I've done cheerleading on a team.<br />[] I've played softball on a team.<br />[] I've played volleyball on a team.<br />[] I've played tennis on a team.<br />[] I've been on a track or cross-country team.<br />[] I've been swimming more than 20 times in my life.<br />[] I've bungee jumped.<br />[29] I've climbed a rock wall.<br />[30] I've lost more than $20.<br />[31] I've called myself an idiot. and meant it.<br />[32] I've called someone else an idiot.<br />[33] I've cried myself to sleep.<br />[34] I've had (or have) pets.<br />[] I've owned a spice girls CD.<br />[] I've owned a Britney spears CD.<br />[] I've owned an N*Sync CD.<br />[] I've owned a backstreet boys CD.<br />[] I've mooned someone.<br />[] I've sworn at someone in authority.<br />[35] I've been in the newspaper.<br />[36] I've been on TV.<br />[] I've been to Hawaii.<br />[] I've eaten sushi.<br />[] I've been on the other side of a waterfall.<br />[37] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.<br />[] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.<br />[] I've watched all of the Rocky movies.<br />[38] I've watched the 3 stooges.<br />[] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.<br />[39] I've watched Looney Tunes.<br />[] I've been stuffed into a locker<br />[40] I've been called a geek.<br />[41] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad grade.<br />[42] I've studied for a test and aced it.<br />[] I've hugged my mom within the past 24 hrs.<br />[] I've hugged my dad within the past 24 hours.<br />[43] I've met a celebrity/music artist.<br />[44] I've written poetry.<br />[] I've been arrested.<br />[45] I've been attracted to someone much older than me.<br />[46] I've been tickled till I've cried.<br />[47] I've tickled someone else until they cried.<br />[48] I've had/have siblings.<br />[49] I've been to a rock concert.<br />[50] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it.<br />[51] I've been in a play.<br />[52] I've been picked last in gym class.<br />[53] I've been picked first in gym class.<br />[54] I've been picked in that middle-range in gym class.<br />[55] I've cried in front of my friends.<br />[56] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages.<br />[] I've played Halo 2.<br />[] I've freaked out over a sports game.<br />[] I've been to Alaska.<br />[] I've been to China.<br />[] I've been to Spain.<br />[57] I've been to Japan<br />[] I've had a fight with someone on AIM<br />[58] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face.<br />[59] I've had something seriously wrong done to me.<br />[60] I've been forgiven.<br />[61] I've screamed at a scary movie.<br />[62] I've cried at a chick flick<br />[63] I've watched a lot of action movies.<br />[64] I've screamed at the top of my lungs.<br />[] I've been to a rap concert.<br />[] I've been to a hip-hop concert.<br />[65] I've lived in more than 2 houses.<br />[66] I've driven on the highway<br />[67] I've driven more than 40 miles in a day<br />[68] I've been in a car accident<br />[69] I've been homesick.<br />[70] I've thrown up<br />[] I've puked on someone<br />[71] I've been horseback riding.<br />[] I've filled out more than 10 LJ surveys.<br />[72] I've spoken my mind in public.<br />[73] I've proved someone wrong.<br />[74] I've been proven wrong by someone.<br />[] I've broken a leg.<br />[] I've broken an arm.<br />[75] I've fallen off a swing.<br />[76] I've swung on a swing for more than 30 mins straight.<br />[77] I've watched Winnie the Pooh movies.<br />[78] I've forgotten my backpack when I've gone to school.<br />[79] I've lost my backpack.<br />[] I've come close to dying.<br />[] I've seen someone die. <br />[80] I've known someone who has died.<br />[81] I've wanted to be an actor/actress at some point.<br />[] I've done modeling.<br />[82] I've forgotten to brush my teeth some mornings.<br />[83] I've taken something/someone for granted.<br />[84] I've realized how good my life is.<br />[85] I've counted my blessings.<br />[86] I've made fun of a classmate.<br />[87] I've been asked out by someone and I said no.<br />[88] I've asked someone on a date and been turned down.<br />[89] I've slapped someone in the face.<br />[] I've been skateboarding.<br />[90] I've been backstabbed by someone I thought was a friend <br />[91] I've lied to someone to their face.<br />[92] I've told a little white lie.<br />[93] I've taken a day off from school just so I don't go insane.<br />[] I've fainted.<br />[] I've had an argument with someone about whether cheerleading is a sport or not.<br />[94] I've pushed someone into a pool.<br />[95] I've been pushed into a pool urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:3003 2006-04-19T17:48:19Z 2006-04-19T17:48:19Z Evanescence- Fallen I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off today.... Out processing, signing for my test date for my next rank.... ugh, lions, tigers, and bears, OH MY! My head hurts just thinking about all this crap that I have to do.... <br /><br />People seem to just hack me off... The military medical system is so abused. The government would save thousands of dollars if they would make people by over the counter meds like everyone else out there in the "real world." But no, Cpt Joe Blow Smuck needs to have the 800mg of BooBooprofen and the Retired Lt Col's wife will just die without her enteric coated aspirine........AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!<br /><br />And what sucks is I can't tell people to go and buy the crap at Walmart.... oh, well.... I did not cause it, can't control it, and can't cure it....<br /><br />Oh well... I only have 15 minutes left here at the desk. Maybe I can survive without killing anyone..... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:2610 2006-04-06T11:57:49Z 2006-04-06T11:57:49Z Disturbed- Ten Thousand Fists Album Finally done with the play.... yea... one less thing on my plate.<br /><br />I have been training for an upcoming military stuff last week and this week. Last friday I was crawling around in the mud, jumping in and out of a hummer, and just getting all kinds of dirty. I have a bruise on my left arm that I have no clue as to how I got it... And last night I got to run around in a chem suit and gas mask, carry litter patients, and jump in and out of a deuce and a half (very large truck). What sucks about all this happy fun is I have early morning clinic, which means that I am work at 0545 in the morning... It is just too GOD DAMN EARLY...... COME ON CAFFEINE... HURRY UP AND KICK IN ALREADY.... Other than that... all is good. Any rate... more to come later....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:2314 2006-03-25T15:41:31Z 2006-03-25T15:41:31Z Rammstein I have been so mind numbingly busy this past while that I have not had a chance to put anything down.... This past month has gone by like a whirlwind and I am trying to keep everything straight.<br /><br />-Been working on a play for a college prep school in the local area. Henry the IV. I have a minor role in most of the play, but I have been having fun with it. Met some cool people... John Seipp is a great guy, possibly the most laid back amongst us (according himself). Chris is okay, but we are all a little high strung due to the fact that opening night is next week. Jim is okay too, but I think he is over analyzing the play. I took over the costume department on monday. UGH!!! I have four costumes that need to be done by this Friday and I still need to go get thread and stuff.... Oy Vay!!!<br /><br />-Work has also been a whirl wind as well. Prepping for a deployment in the next couple of months. Pick up gear on Monday and have training Wednesday-Friday for 10-14hrs. I am hoping that the one on Friday will only be for 10hrs instead of 14. Ugh!!! I had to push back two appointments I need because of this. Oh well...<br /><br />-I volunteered to help out with Saturday Clinic and take off the left over Telephone Consults and put them in the system from Friday. The off site, in my opinion, went well. Most of the people enjoyed their food. T. Jackson had a hair in her nachos, but I think that was the only snafu that happened.<br /><br />I am so mucking tired it is not funny. This play has absorbed all of my free time. I cannot wait till it is over with. I am going to need a nap when I get home. I was up until 000hrs last night working on costumes and lines... all the while with wine, pizza, and soda. I am surprised I made it home in one piece. That's all that matters....<br /><br />Any rate, back to work with me... Love Peace and Chicken Grease urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:2106 2006-01-24T03:45:51Z 2006-01-24T03:45:51Z Daily Readings-<br /><br />ODAT- pg 23- Jan 23- Today's Reminder- Right now I am reading something that will help me to grasp the Al-Anon philosophy. Right now I will set myself a program of reading the Al-anon literature, which will help me to understand my problem and improve my out look on life. Then I will be ready to solve my difficulties as the arise; then I will know when to stand aside and let them work themselves out.<br /><br />I have to work continuously at my program if I want to get any better. I cannot do this hap hazard-ly.<br /><br />Courage- pg 23- Jan 23- Today's Reminder- At the start of each day I can make the decision to turn my will and my life over to the Care of God(dess). This way I begin my day with a strong assertion that I choose to accept the reality of my life. I am moving in a healthy direction, growing ever more able to live a good life and to love those I meet along the way.<br /><br />This talks about Step 3- Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him. I am not quite on this step yet, but I will get there in time.<br /><br />Hope- pg 23- jan 23- Thought for the Day- This moment gives birth to the next. If I fill this moment with gratitude, the next moment can't help but bring blessings.<br /><br />Reminds me that I have a lot to be thankful for and not to focus on the what I do not have.<br /><br />Question for Today-<br />Paths to Recovery- pg 16- How have I tried to change others in my life? What were the consequences?<br /><br />I have constantly tried to stop my husband from calling the "bathroom", a "latrine" and our soon to be, not yet, children "dismounts." We would get into playful arguments, but it would still irk my constantly. I never got anywhere. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:1846 2006-01-24T03:28:51Z 2006-01-24T03:28:51Z Went to work today...Not much went on there. I only had to work the front desk for only an hour today. Koo-dos for me, but Brooks hated it. I put up with it for two weeks. I think she'll survive.<br /><br />Finished working on my helmet today. Looks like ass and I will have to replace all the cod-der pins, but it will due for now. My fingers hurt like hell from the wire and the pins. If I never have to attach another thing to that helm it will be too soon!!!<br /><br />No meeting at the trailer tonight... oh well. Not like it was the first time that has happened.<br /><br />PJ is mad at me because I did not answer my phone. Of course it does not help that I did not have it on me at the time she called. Oh well. I called and said I was sorry. Hopefully she will feel better tomorrow.<br /><br />Worked out for the first time in a while. I'll see how I feel in the morning.<br /><br />TTFN urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:1603 2006-01-23T03:42:08Z 2006-01-23T03:42:08Z Daily Readings-<br /><br />ODAT- pg 22- Jan 22- Today's reminder- "All true prayer somehow confesses our absolute dependence on God. It is a vital contact with Him. It is when we pray truly that we really are. For our prayers we receive light to apply... to our own problems and difficulties." (Thomas Merton: No Man is an island).<br /><br />Simply put- Let go and Let God...<br /><br />Courage- pg 22- Jan 22- Today's Reminder- With my Higher Power's help, I will keep a loving blanket of detachment with me. I will cover my loved ones with it, whether or not they struggle with a disease, keeping in mind that when I am dealing with other human beings, I am dealing with children of God.<br /><br />This one, I honestly do not have much to say on it, except that I need to work on it a lot. I get too wrapped up in what is going on at work for my own good!!!<br /><br />Hope- pg 22- Jan 22- Thought for the Day- Today relaxing with my imperfection and enjoying my own business are enough for me. For this I am grateful.<br /><br />Be happy for the human being I am and stop demanding the impossible of myself and others.<br /><br />Question for today-<br />Paths to Recovery- Pg 16- Do I accept that alcoholism is a disease? How does that change how I deal with a drinker?<br /><br />Answer-Yes and No. Yes, alcoholism is a disease in the fact that it has ill effects on the mind, body, and spirit. It is an addiction and the person under the addiction cannot break away from it with some trial and tribulation. However I do feel personally that it is a disease of choice. One does not have to take the first drink that set them down the path of an alcoholic or a drug addict. In my experience and I only speak for me, I saw what would happen if I let drinking become a habit. My family joke was I was the alcoholic that never took a drink. That is why I am in Al-Anon and not AA. But when I do deal with someone that is an active alcoholic, I pity them, because they need help, but it is up to them to get the help that they need. No one else can help them, but themselves. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:1468 2006-01-23T03:19:31Z 2006-01-23T03:19:31Z Did not do too much today. Got the laundry done this morning at the laundry mat up the road and did my usual IHOP for lunch. Sylvester was there with his family. His youngest was playing the "Here Daddy. Fetch!" game with his bottle. Both his sons look just like him.<br /><br />Bought a tool box for the truck. Now Runt can have the back seat without all the junk for the truck cluttering it up. Had to run around to a bunch of stores before I found one that would fit. Cost me a little over $200, but I am not complaining. It helps out Runt.<br /><br />Ordered Papa John's for dinner and went through some of my mail as far as personal stuff was concerned. Figured out how to download the pictures from one of my digital cameras. Now if I can only master my camcorder, that would be great. Finally emailed the photos from the wedding to the Knight's Crossing folks back in Germany. I sure do miss those guys.<br /><br />Worked on my helmet as well. Got the leather and the cod-der pins in, now I just have to put the chain around it. Probably have the chain on it tomorrow night. I still need to work on my shield some more. I need to also get some 5-50 cord for Jeff and stamps to send stuff out in the mail tomorrow.<br /><br />Write Later urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:1247 2006-01-22T01:40:55Z 2006-01-22T01:40:55Z I sat down today and did my daily readings and this is what I got out of those readings-<br /><br />One Day At a Time in Al-Anon (ODAT)-pg21- Jan 21- Today's Reminder- Nothing has the power to hurt my feelings and stir up unwholesome emotions in me unless I allow it. I will do what is given me to do. I will do it as well as I can. That will be my inner security against which all outside battering will be powerless.<br /><br />-This tells me that I am the only one that can make me feel how I want to feel. I can either let someone else's actions bother me or I can let it lay by the side.<br /><br />Courage to Change: One Day at a Time in Al-Anon II (Courage)- pg 21- Jan 21- Today's Reminder- I no longer have to wait until my health, my financial situation, or my emotional state collapses before paying attention to my needs. Today I can practice becoming more aware of what my inner voice is trying to teach me. I can listen and learn.<br /><br />-This tells me that I have to focus on my health and well being. Helping others is nice; however, to do it to excessive extremes to where I am unwell is not helping anyone<br /><br />Hope for Today (Hope)- pg 21- Jan 21- Thought for the Day- Alateens have much to offer Al-Anon members. Today I'll consider how we can help one another.<br /><br />-This one page really did not speak out to me except that the Alateens can help me face the past of my alcoholic environment.<br /><br />Question for Today-<br />Paths to Recovery- pgs 15-16- How do I recognize that the alcoholic is an individual with habits, characteristics and ways of reacting to daily happenings that are different from mine?<br /><br />Answer-<br />This is actually taking a lot of thought... One-They are not me. I will react things one way and someone else may react to the same thing differently. This is a question that I am going to have to come back to because other than the "They are not me" comment, I cannot think of anything other than that. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:811 2006-01-22T01:11:30Z 2006-01-22T01:11:30Z Did not do much today... I took my dog and cat to vet today for their booster shots and either worked on my crocheting or slept most of the day. <br /><br />Runt was for the most part cooperative at the vet office today. He decided to have an accident at the front door of Pet Smart and did not want to get on the scale for some stupid reason. Oh well. He behaved while he was in seeing the vet, so I guess that is all that matters. Jade was not to happy about having meds go up his nose and having a thermometer stuck in his rear. I think that is the first cat that I have heard of that did not like that...<br /><br />All in all it has been a very lazy day... the sky has been gray all morning and have not had a lot of energy to do anything.<br /><br />I did talk to my friend Amber today. She and her fiancee Jeff went to Maiden's this weekend. Cool for them... I completely forgot that the event was even coming up and was not able to go. Oh well. From what she said, Jeff got to fight the king today and won a bout with him. Cool Beans...<br /><br />Will post more tomorrow... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:d34th_w4lk3r:322 2006-01-19T21:33:35Z 2006-01-20T12:24:52Z My sponsor suggested that I start journaling about what is going on around me. And since I spend quite a bit of my time in front of a computer at work, I figured this is the way to go.<br /><br />My current issue has been with Step 1- Admitting that I am powerless over (insert noun of the moment here) and that my life has become unmanagable. I have a hard time with the powerless thing because I always feel that I need to be in control. "If my patient does X,Y, and Z, my life would be better," or "If the medical techs did this..." or "If the nurses did that..." or "If the doctors had only done..." is what I seem to say a lot at work.<br /><br />What is funny is I just did this a few moments ago. A patient just walked up... got to go... be back soon...